Wednesday 30 December 2009

A Canadian Christmas!

Christmas in Calgary was exactly what I needed to refuel, although 9 days didn't seem like enough time. I did have a minor panic when the plane was unable to leave the run way in Edinburgh due to a spontaneous dump of snow. We sat in the plane for about 2 hours waiting for the de- icer to come around. I was already feeling guilty about my carbon footprint flying home, but watching the magical rainbow of what I image to be fairly toxic sludge being sprayed all over the plane, made it even worse!

But getting my picture taken with Santa Claus at Chinook (my brother Ben!) was a great way to get into the Christmas spirit. My friend Sandra and I awkwardly stood in line with manic children on sugar highs. Santa had been on a lunch break, but when the faint sound of sleigh bells began to jingle, the kids went mad! A little girl in front of us started shaking and I was convinced she was either going to pee herself or faint. I was moved to tears when Santa spoke to everyone in line. The kids all stared with their jaws hanging open. He was so kind and excited- exactly what Santa should be! I was so proud of Ben for still having so much passion for the job after a grueling month of make -up, wigs and the occasional screaming child!

On Christmas morning my Dad, my brother Robin and his girlfriend Robin took a walk in Sikome Lake to see my Mum's memorial tree. It was a stunning morning! The air was cold, but the frost on the trees was absolutely beautiful! We tied a gold bow on the tree and hung out for awhile. This ritual felt good- something I will continue to do on Christmas day forever.

Ben and his wife Kelly joined us in the afternoon to open presents, then my buddy Rob joined us for dinner. I felt pressure being responsible for cooking a massive organic turkey, but it turned out great! Toot toot!! (that's me tooting my own horn!) After dinner entertainment consisted of my brother and I having our annual light saber fight with the empty wrapping paper rolls. Very mature, I know. You may find the video of it rather comical though.


The joy of having new family in the vicinity is joining them for dessert! Kelly's brother Kevin and his wife Sarah moved in a few blocks away from Dad, so we slowly make our way there armed with yummy things. The rest of the night was spent visiting, playing foos ball in the Man Cave and dancing in the kitchen to "Dominic the Donkey". What a celebration!




We had an open house at Dad's on Boxing Day and it was such a pleasure to visit with everyone who stopped by. This is the way to go when you want to see lots of people, but don't have a lot of time. Thank you everyone for braving the bad roads and weather to come visit with me! I was really sad getting on the plane to come back, but my time in Calgary reminded me that I have a loving and supportive family and really great friends rooting for me. It was a very Merry Christmas!


Light Saber madness!

Thursday 10 December 2009

The Essence of Christmas and a Few Inconveniences

The essence of Christmas in Edinburgh is just what one would expect. Festive lights and music, gatherings with family and friends and the famous colour combination of red and green. However my experience of all things Christmas arrived in very strange and sometimes inconvenient ways.

Being a student at Christmas itself is an inconvenience! While studying for exams and finishing assignments should be the focus, pub nights and parties are much too attractive. One of the main streets in Edinburgh converts into an exciting winter festival and German market. Rides, booths with delicious food and things to look at were a welcomed escape from working. I also managed to attend a carol-singing concert at St. Giles Cathedral on the high street. The angelic voices echoed eerily throughout the ancient church, conjuring up images of generations past who also sought out the Christmas spirit.

Other forms of Christmas music wafted though the streets. Drumming groups, fiddles and of course the bagpipes. Unfortunately one night before an early rise, very enthusiast and most likely drunk saxophone players began a jolly set of Christmas songs, directly below my flat window. Christmas tunes on a saxophone are one thing, but at 1 am?!

Friends, once again, came to the rescue of my sanity. We spent many hours preparing for our exam together, squeezed into small compartments designed for groups. This has now become commonly known among my group of peers as pod living. It is truly amazing how much you can learn from others though, especially when everyone’s background is so different. Image this: an evolutionary biologist, a sports management major, an environmental scientist, an ecotourism major (me), someone who worked in US politics during the Bush administration and a conservative who worked at Target for the last few years- all studying for a Principles of Environmental Sustainability exam. Now that is perspective and learning that no professor can replicate!

At Christmas, the colour red usually comes in the form of stockings, Santa, and twinkling lights. In my case however, it came in the form of episcleritis, turning my left eye into a bloodshot and very painful lump, which I desperately wanted to pop out of the socket. After an impromptu visit to the emergency room and a visit to an eye specialist, I left with a handful of steroid drops and painkillers. Yes, I now have to worlds’ strongest eyeball!

The green colour came into play the night before and the morning of my first (and thank goodness only!) post grad exam. I felt sick and was fairly certain I was going to sick on my shoes as we stood waiting outside MacEwan Hall. Two essays in two hours on topics to be discovered upon arrival equalled a full-blown nightmare for me. But knowing that people like James Hutton and my mom, equally famous in my mind, had graduated in MacEwan Hall (and I would as well if I could get through the following 2 hours!) was a nice distraction.

My nausea slowly dissipated as I entered the expansive hall. I instantly felt like Harry Potter! We were greeted by massive stone pillars, floor to ceiling tapestry and paintings waiting to come alive, gorgeous wood railings and two brilliantly lit Christmas trees. Someone behind me starting humming the Harry Potter theme song and we were ushered to sit in our class sections or what felt like Hogwarts houses. I was just glad I was not ushered to the economics section, which in my mind was equivalent to the Slitherin house! All you Harry Potter fans know what I mean!

My anxiety was further relieved when I scanned down the list of essay topics and discovered I had studied hard for 3 of the 5 topics. Thanks to my motley crew in the pod! All that was left to do was pick 2 and start filling the booklets with knowledge. Magic! A certain green colour returned the following morning, after a pre Christmas, post exam celebration at the pub!

It started to snow in Edinburgh 3 days before I got on a plane to come home. I have never seen snow in Scotland. In true fashion, the whole city came to a stand still. Calgarians can appreciate that! The snow and cold weather made all the turrets and stonewalls around the city look even more unforgiving. My last few days were filled with family gatherings, which I was so grateful to be a part of. I have never seen the wee Christmas tree in my Granny’s living room or the Christmas decorations that litter my cousin’s flat. Celebrations here, like many at home, revolve around food. With my Dad’s brother and my cousins, we had Indian take away and with Granny and my uncle John, good ol’ fish and chips!

My first semester has come to a successful end and what I have to show for it is a great group of new friends, an obscene amount of learning (including an A!) and the knowledge that my family and friends in Calgary will stand by me through everything. But it’s now time for a short rest at home!

For those of you I will not see over the holidays, have a wonderful Christmas and best wishes for the New Year! Cherish time with your family friends and find magic in small things. I know I will.

Monday 30 November 2009

This is class?!- A Week at Woodlands

Concept Based Practice was a residential course at Woodlands in the town of Kinguisse, that both the Outdoor Education and Outdoor Environmental and Sustainability Education students were required to take. The course was about taking all the theory and educational philosophy relevant to outdoor and environmental education and translating it into professional practice. Now I say professional in the sense of giving our future programming solid content and credibility. However, what you will see in the photos below may not suggest that! It looks like we are playing a lot, but I assure you that we are learning. I love that our courses are fun, relevant and effective. Where has this type of school been my whole life!


Evenings at woodlands were mostly spent making dinner in small groups for everyone. Cooking for 25 people is a massive undertaking that invites moments of mass chaos! Each night the group cooking also took on the task of creating a natural center piece for table. I'm sure you can image the ridiculousness that was created. If we didn't have a lecture after dinner, we would either go the the local pub The Tipsy Laird, or relax in the front room or what usually happens with an idle group of people in Scotland- have a ceilidh! Some people had been to a ceilidh a few weeks before and decided to teach everyone a dance in the front room. Sam, a PHD student who was there to assist Robbie, happened to have his flute and provided music that inspired almost everyone to join in! We were pretty crap at it overall, but it was great fun! (see video below)



Sunday 15 November 2009

Oreo- The Great Scottish Kitty

After ridiculing Christy's friend who writes a blog in the perspective of his hairless diabetic cat Minivan, I thought I would take this opportunity to just share a few pictures of my cat Oreo (who is not diabetic and has fur!). Although I will not bust into a monologue for my cat, I just want to say that things here would be much more lonely if it were not for his company. He is such a cheerful little guy to have around and he has adapted to be in Scotland like a charm! I think he enjoys watching the swarms of people in the Grass market just as much as I do. That's all.

Tuesday 10 November 2009

Edinburgh in Autumn

It has been well over 7 weeks since my last update and I cannot believe how fast the time is moving along! I blame the long gap in between emails on the development of a serious and common condition in students. This disease is referred to as library hermitism. The symptoms of this condition include buggy eyes from staring at a computer screen too long, shaky hands and a general jumpy demeanour due to excessive caffeine, and an overall sense of humility in the face of a vast amount of knowledge and the impossibility to absorb it all in such a short period of time. After two solid weeks of stress and uncertainty as I battled my way through my first assignment, I have emerged from the library briefly (narrowly escaping with my sanity still attached) to write this update.

In truth though, the library has become one of my favourite places. At 8 stories tall, each the size of a soccer pitch, it holds over 500 years worth of books. The small task of tracking down one book is tricky. Isles and isles of books, each isle with it’s own light switch! In my favourite seat by the window, I can see the Meadows that line Marchmont, the area where my Mum grew up. I heard many stories over the years about the endless hours she spent playing there as a child. Now it provides a great backdrop for a few moments of daydreaming and a much needed break from the words on a page.

Fall in Edinburgh has turned out to be beautiful! I have only ever been here in summer, but there is a mystical feeling in the air that I am very happy to experience. It gets pretty cool at night, but so far the weather has been gorgeous! I love the crisp air on my walk each morning to the library and I have noticed this distinct smell. I can’t decide if it’s the accumulation of everyone’s morning toast and marmalade or the local brewery. Either way, it defines Edinburgh and I like it.

I was pretty bummed to miss Thanksgiving this year, but my two Canadian friends, Amy and Marissa, helped to make it a good holiday. Amy prepared a feast! Finding turkey in this country was a challenge though, so roast chicken had to suffice! After a 3-course meal and a drunken rendition of our national anthem, we were all feeling pretty confident we had done the holiday justice!


There are many other entertaining elements in my life in Edinburgh that fill each day with laughter. For example, I have found great amusement recently in my friend Christy’s stories about her job as a cat sitter for a hairless, diabetic cat named Minivan! Yup, that’s right, Minivan. As if that combination wasn’t bad enough, Minivan’s owner writes a daily blog in the perspective of the cat!! Apparently, the cat misses his owner so much and thinks Christy could improve her skill in giving insulin shots! Yikes!!!!!

Guy Fawkes night was at the beginning of November. Trust the Scots to celebrate a guy who planned to blow up the Parliament building. I'm not entirely sure when this happened, but I do know he got caught before executing his plan. Instead, he was executed and now this day is celebrated with massive fire works shows. Thanks Guy!

Despite the hectic workload and good company, I spend a lot of time thinking about how everyone is doing at home in Calgary. I have moments of severe homesickness, but having my cat Oreo here makes it tolerable. (P.S- Oreo has hair, is not diabetic and I don’t talk for him. Well, at least not in a blog!) But I will be on a plane home in 8 weeks for Christmas and I am definitely looking forward to seeing as many of you as possible!

Thursday 1 October 2009

Good-bye to Granny Laird

I am so sad to say that my sweet Gran Laird passed away on September 16th. She had severe dementia and just hadn't been doing well for a few weeks. She slipped away at the Peebles Nursing home very early in the morning. I found out right before getting on a bus to go on a field trip for my Interpreting the Landscape course. Pretending to be interested in rocks and geology after getting news like that is super challenging and just sucky in general.

Dad came back to Edinburgh- about 2 weeks after he had just been here! Of course it was great to see him again and to catch up with people in my family that I don't see every much. It is a shame that it takes a funeral to bring people together.

This sad day did inspire a little trip down memory lane though, as the passing of people tends to do. Dad and I spent an afternoon in Stock Bridge where both my Granny and my Dad grew up. My Granny's father was a tailor who owned a large house in Raeburn Place. His shop was in the front of the house. My Granny lived in that house with her father for a significant chunk of her life, even after she had married my Grandpa. My Dad and his brother Lindsay lived in that house too. I am told that it had a gorgeous big back yard, with a grand tree that my Dad would climb. This is the house that my Granny always talked about during her dementia. As far as she was concerned, she still lived in that house.

Unfortunately, the house is no longer there. It was demolished and turned into a Scotmid Co-op. It is heart breaking to lose a piece of personal history- all in the name of progress. But the tree that Dad used to climb is still in the back. The rest of the street apparently hasn't changed much though. Dad was astonished to find the fish monger and the barber shop still there- still with the same names!

We also spent some time in a park that Dad used to play in as a child. He told me the story of how he had been showing off on his bike one day as he was riding down the hill and didn't turn in time. Instead he went flying into the pond with his bike! We found the exact spot he had gone for an impromptu swim. A nice afternoon at the Edinburgh Botanical Gardens was also a great back drop to remember my Granny. She would have had something to say about the massive crow that help himself to some lunch!

I will miss my Granny dearly. She was a kind and loving woman. I just wish I had gotten to know her better. But it just makes the time I spent with her a few weeks earlier even more valuable. So grateful I was here.

Friday 11 September 2009

Paddling the Spey


What an amazing trip and way to start an MSc! And no midges!! The map above shows the Spey river basin. We paddled the northern half and right into the sea. The trip was 8 days and involved 2 days practicing paddling skills in canoes, kayaks and seas kayaks at the University's outdoor center called Firbush, which is on the shore of Loch Tay. Its was an absolutely gorgeous location and a perfect place to learn and practice. The weather was pretty miserable these two days, but being soaking wet all the time just made the idea of accidently dumping into the water so much easier to deal with! Although, I have to say, I did not go in once! I did however, manage to strain my wrist fighting to get my canoe going in the right direction in crazy wind on the Loch. Nothing that drugs and a brace wouldn't fix though!


We then had two days at Woodlands which is an old Victorian house in the town of Kinguisse, that has been modified to house groups of students. From here we did a day trip on the Spey to practice our new paddling skills on moving water. It was such a cold rainy day but it was fabulous to be on the river! At night, we went to the local pub called the Tipsy Laird (no comments about this please!) to take in one last pint and some good music before heading down the river.


Each day down the river got more and more exciting. Dave, our guide was an encyclopedia of knowledge when it came to the Spey. He told us story after story about the people who own the land and the gillies who make a living from the rich people who fly fish. The social elite have staked their claim on the river and most made it very clear we were intruding on their day of fly-fishing. We had to paddle our butts off to stay clear of their lines. They just stood on the banks in their head to toe tweed giving us dirty looks, their land rovers standing by and small squat hound dogs running around. I was fully expecting to see Prince William out for a day of fishing, but unfortunately that never happened. He has more important things to do I imagine! Can you believe they pay about 10, 000 pounds to fish for a week! That is equivalent to about $20,000!! No fish is worth that kind of money in my opinion.

Pete, one of our lecturers, filled in the very rare moments that Dave was not talking with information about the geology and ecology of the areas we paddled through. Robbie, another lecturer, filled our evenings with lectures and various discussions about the environment. Camping in this country is sooooooooo different to Canada. With Scottish access laws, we were able to pull over and camp anywhere, which meant we shared a site with cows one night and essentially camped in someone's back yard another. Very strange.

The speed and volume of the river increased everyday we got closer to the sea. On the second last day, we were paddling some pretty impressive rapids. There was a very close call for my paddling partner and I coming through a big set of rapids- we nearly tipped over but JUST managed to stay upright. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for another group. There were three in the boat because Fran had also injured her wrist and couldn't paddle. The boat was not balanced very well and they went for a very cold swim. It was a good thing that we all practiced rescues!

About an hour after we rescued these three out of the river, another incident unfolded. We had been told to pull over to the bank so everyone could catch up. A girl named Jess was in the first boat to pull over and as she stepped out of the canoe a wave pushed the canoe over her ankle and broke it. My partner and I were the next to paddle up and all I saw was Jess collapsed on the ground wailing in a horrible fashion. We ended up splinting her leg on the side of the river, then ferrying her to the other side, carrying her up a huge hill to the road where the ambulance could pick her up! I say we, but I what I really mean is the guys did all this, while the rest of us waited patiently by the river in the sun!


The highlight for me though was paddling into the sea. It was a great ending to an incredible trip. E
veryone was celebrating, jumping around and hugging when we got on shore. The trip was wonderful and a great opportunity to get to know my colleagues. We bonded and laughed our way down the river as we learned about the ecology, history and the crazy social traditions that define the river. We started out essentially as strangers and emerged into the sea as friends. The feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment was absolutely indescribable. It was a great start to what everyone knew was going to be an exciting year!

Thank you to Andy Scherk for some photos on this page!

Tuesday 1 September 2009

Festival, follies, family, friends and fun!

Well, it’s just short of a month since I’ve been here. I suspect this will not be the only time I ask, “Where has the time gone?” I have generally filled my time with wandering the streets taking in the eclectic nature if the Edinburgh Fringe Festival- including a “show” by the Guinness Book of World Records holder for the most facial piercing. That was well…. educational! I’ve seen some really great shows and a HORRIBLE free comedy show that left me wishing I could get the two hours of my life back! But the city is just as gorgeous as I remember. Everything is so green!


I took the train last week to North Berwick, a small resort town, to take in the sea and sand. I have great memories of going there with my Mum and Granny and sitting on the beach eating ice cream cones. It was a gorgeous sunny day so I proceeded to do just the same thing. I even put my toes in the sea! Burrr!

Dad has been here for the past few days so we have had a chance to catch up and get all the boring logistics sorted out, such as setting up a bank account. However there have also been a couple of very funny moments. Unfortunately and in true fashion for my life, I just so happened to be the butt of the joke. Below are a few funny anecdotes that will stay with me forever.

During an amazing adventure such as this, it is wise to make every effort to stop and smell the roses. The most ideal (and literal) opportunity came along the other day whilst on a walk down my uncle’s street. I spotted a fist sized, blood red rose hanging over someone’s fence about a foot above my head. I pulled the stem and blossom down towards my nose expecting the most amazing fragrance.

Mother Nature’s gorgeous creation quickly deposited about an ounce of rainwater, up my nostrils and all over my face. Much to the amusement of my Dad and Uncle, I did not get to smell the rose. I wiped my face off and blew my nose all the way to the end of the street. Moral of the story: The intention to slow down and smell the roses may be met with unexpected results. However, sometimes what happens is much better and will provide a more memorable story and experience than the original plan! Hopefully this will remain true for the rest of my time here.

Another comical moment that occurred is really a lesson in the communication barriers that can occur with various accents. In a desire to reminisce and treat his family to dinner, Dad took my Uncle and I out to Café Royal, a very posh restaurant and bar that my Mum and him had visited several times in the past.

We had a delicious (and insanely expensive!) dinner served by a very charming Irish guy. To finish off a lovely dinner, I ordered a coffee with baileys, one of my favorite treats. What appeared however was not at all what I expected. I got the coffee all right, but the waiter proceeded to place a ramekin of some creamy white substance beside my cup.

In a highly confused state I politely asked what it was. “It’s what you ordered isn’t it? It’s mayonnaise.” He responded. With an amused look on my face, I proceeded to explain that no, I had ordered Baileys, pronouncing it in a way you would expect when speaking to someone from Mars. He continued to tell me that it was the strangest request he had ever heard, but he had tried his best not to judge. Not ever having been to Canada, how would he know what we like to put in our coffee! Funny!!

My Dad and I have also had the opportunity to visit with my Gran (Dad's Mum). She lives in Peebles close to my Uncle Lindsay and Aunt Marilyn. Gran has severe dementia and only has passing moments when she knows who you are. This is really difficult to accept, but just being here to take her for a walk down the river filled me up with gratitude. We have also visited my Mum's good friend Kate who was the first person who lives in Scotland to see me when I was born. We had a delicious lunch and and a good chat at her house one afternoon. Dad was also able to catch up with a bunch of his university friends. We had dinner at Bob's gorgeous house in Fife one night. Seeing Dad with his friends made me wonder if I will be sitting around a table in 30 years time reminiscing about the good old days with the people I meet here.



This brings me to the update about the whole reason I am here in the first place. University! I have just completed my orientation week and well, lets jut say I have been reminded that this is not a holiday!! The first day was filled with info about how to properly reference research to avoid being kicked out for plagiarism and we received a crash course using the library catalogue. Fun!!

But everyone in my program seems to be pretty awesome. There are 24 of us all together but only 9 in my avenue of focus. There is a great mix of people from all over the world too. A few Americans (of course) another Canadian from Nanaimo, a Japanese girl, a guy from Germany, another from the Netherlands, an Aussie and a girl from Greece who has already offered to show me around her home turf when we are finished! The rest are a combination of people coming from various parts of Scotland and England.

Despite the “jumping in with two feet” introduction we received and the general state of overwhelm everyone was feeling, I can’t help but wander around the Moray House of Education campus (my department of Uni) in awe knowing my Mum walked the same courtyards and halls. This is very much meant to be.

Tomorrow, we are all heading off on our first big adventure into the Scottish highlands for our Lochs and Rivers professional development course. We spend two days at Firbush to review paddling skills on Loch Tay. We will stay in the outdoor education residential center there where everything is provided, including, breakfast, a packed lunch for the day, a three-course dinner, a pub, a comfy bed and even someone to make it! Rough, I know!

The following 2 days will be spent at another residential site called Woodlands, a place we will visit at a few times over the next year. The last 4 days will be the descent of the Spey River, which eventually meets the sea at nearly the most northern point in Scotland. This will be good old-fashioned camping and expedition cooking. I couldn’t be more excited! As long as the midges, (the Scottish version of mosquitoes that make death by haggis look appealing) aren’t too bad. I am armed with bug spray, antihistamines, a raincoat and a warm sweater- or 5!

Next update when I return, no doubt with tales of Scottish history, getting really wet, getting tired, getting eaten alive by foreign bugs, getting to know the people who will keep me sane and insane in equally proportion this year and having the time of my life!

Thursday 13 August 2009

The Adventure Begins


Saturday was my initiation into a social life in Edinburgh. Fiona, my cousin and her friend Claire arrived at my flat around 10:30pm with a few bottles of wine and tickets to a Late N Live comedy show. Late being a 1 am start time. That gave us lots of time to sit at my window sill, (which I have to say is my favorite part of the flat) to watch the mobs of people in the Grass market and enjoy the amazing fireworks display that mark the end of the Military Tattoo at the castle each night. There have been fireworks visible from my window every night but Saturday’s show was especially entertaining. Here is the view of the Grassmarket from my flat:

And a picture of my favourite window sill!



We wandered down the street to the Teviot, nicknamed the “Guilded Balloon” for the Festival, which happens to be one of the student unions. Now I say student union but what I really mean is castle!! Beside it, Fiona pointed out the building I would graduate in. Hmmmm….if I’m drunk like this the whole time, there might not be a graduation.

The show was really good (despite the American comedian discussing his country's new president –Damn! Just can’t escape it!). It finished around 3:30 am, only to be followed by a super fun Ska band, which kept us dancing until about 5:00 am. Outside the castle was a conveniently placed Creperie. Post bar food in Canada consists of pizza; here it is delicious thin pancakes filled with almost anything you can think of. Yum! We did attempt to walk home at this point but masses of bloaks (men of an appropriate age!) where milling about and well, I’m sure you can guess we didn’t leave right away!


A group from London, out for a stag weekend were pretty entertaining and were key players in my escape from a random drunken Scot who decided he wanted to marry me and therefore needed to serenade me with a Canadian song. HA! As he fumbled with his phone to google lyrics we snuck off. Poor schmuck! I rolled into bed that morning around 6:30am. Keener tourists were already starting to fill the Grassmarket for the next day’s events.

On Monday I was feeling a bit down and lonely watching mobs of people having fun, no doubt on their way to some great show or bar. My lonely self ventured out of my flat and joined in on a free walking tour only to later discover that the guide was from Edmonton! I though he sounded like a fraud!!

During the tour though I discovered the place where J.K. Rowling sat to write the first two Harry Potter books and where she got her inspiration. She could see the castle from the window of the café and Heriot Watts school (the original Hogwarts) and a few of the character names came from Grey Kirks cemetery, which is across the street from the cafe. We actually found a McGonagall and a Tom Riddle headstone!

Dorky fact aside, I’m impressed with my ability to make friends. A bunch of us, including the fraud named Owen, a couple Aussies and some Canadians named Amy and Marissa went for dinner and a night of drinking, (yes this seems to be becoming a habit). Good times for all and some new friends made.

Tuesday- Slept late then met my Granny at Cameron Toll, her favorite shopping spot to help her get some groceries. Trundled home on the bus to get ready for dinner at the Buchanan’s, our family friends. David and Pat’s son Stuart and his new wife from the Caribbean Nanjika were also there. Nice to catch up!

Met up with my new Canadian friends for a beer after, but I discovered quickly the beer was not going down very well and I felt sick. Most of the night was spent squirming around in mass discomfort and nausea on the futon mattress, which up until this point was just mostly uncomfortable, was now unbearable. That night I discovered my utter hatred for lumpy hard futons, a hatred which was deepened by a 2 hour vomiting session in the bathroom and the entire day following in which I was forced to spend in bed due to feeling like death. Scottish bug, food poisoning, swine flu- not sure. All I know is I felt like hell.

Yesterday, I went to Ikea with Fiona and Holly, my other cousin, and her wee Jack Russell puppy named Henry to buy a new mattress. Getting it up the 3-story spiral concrete staircase was comical and I think should have been a Fringe Festival show. I have no doubt in my mind that people would have paid 5 pounds to watch “Three Lairds, a dog and a mattress” and would have walked away very satisfied. I am satisfied with my new mattress, especially if the 24 hour “barfs” appear again! Here is Fiona wrestling with the mattress to get it up the stairs!